As Charlie Sheen was told in Platoon, "If you're going to buy it, it's best to get it in the first few weeks." If that's true, then Derby County must be laughing their heads off, albeit with a severe case of 'gallows humour'. The Rams have been as good as down since Christmas, with only one win all season - and that was against Newcastle United. Not content with spectacular home collapses against teams such as Aston Villa and Arsenal, Derby have not won a single away game. Even if they were to beat fellow strugglers Reading on the final day, they would be certain to end the campaign as the worst club in English Premier League history. However, the struggle to avoid relegation from the greatest league in Europe along with Derby has been a dramatic one. As it stands, any two from three clubs can realistically be demoted from the division. Let's have a look at how each one fares going in to the final round of fixtures.
The Blues have enjoyed, or rather endured, an incredible season by anyone's standards. As well as completing an unlikely league double over Tottenham Hotspur, the second city has played host to one of the most bizarre matches in the EPL's existence. When Birmingham City held Arsenal 2-2 at St. Andrews, many believed that Arsenal's title chances went with the two points they dropped. As James McFadden smashed in the equaliser with practically the last kick of the game, Arsenal captain William Gallas sat on his haunches on the halfway line, unable to bear Birmingham's stirring recovery. However, since that incredible match, Birmingham have failed to capitalise on several winning positions, with manager Alex McLeish struggling to find a preferred pairing upfront. Mauro Zarate, a late signing, has only proved sporadically influential rather than galvanising the squad for a late push. Birmingham found themselves on the losing side at the weekend, and go into the final game a point behind both Reading and Fulham, hoping for a miracle. The only swing in their favour would be that they are at home, although that may be tempered by their opponents being high-flying Blackburn Rovers.
Since January, only one team has looked certain to follow Derby into The Championship - Fulham. The Cottagers had a woeful start to the year, with Lawrie Sanchez spending good money on below-par players in the summer, and an arduous autumn followed. However, Sanchez' sacking led to the appointment of former Inter Milan and Blackburn supremo Roy Hodgson and since March, Fulham's fortunes have gradually improved. With survival highly unlikely just six weeks ago, Fulham turned a two-year winless streak away from Craven Cottage into two wins in as many matches. Firstly, they triumphed 2-0 at Reading, before following this with their best performance of the season, coming from two goals down to win 3-2 at Eastlands, where Manchester City had been imperious. Sensing a genuine chance to avoid relegation for the first time, Fulham hosted Birmingham City on Saturday. With the pressure on, they took the opportunity with both hands, running out convincing 2-0 victors. Although their final match is away from home, it is against Portsmouth, who play in the F.A. Cup Final only 6 days after the match. Surely Harry Redknapp will be looking to preserve the fitness of his squad rather than running his already secure troops ragged for points?
Despite a superb debut season in the English Premier League, The Royals have failed to follow up their success in the top tier of English football. Manager Steve Coppell has admitted in recent weeks that his reluctance to buy in the January transfer market has cost his side points. It may well cost him his job, as well as Reading their status as a Premier League side. Despite high-profile victories against top opposition, including a 3-1 tonking of Rafa Benitez' Liverpool, Reading have struggled for goals this year, and at the most crucial time of the season, they go into their last match at relegated Derby having failed to find the net in the last nine hours of league football. Leroy Lita was even recalled from Championship also-rans Charlton in a vain bid to boost the Royals front line against Spurs on Saturday, but to no avail. Now Reading must better Fulham's result at Portsmouth in order to survive.
All three clubs will look at their remaining fixture believing that they can survive. But with Fulham facing a side with nothing to play for, the edge has to be with them. With crowds sure to be tuning into other results, any goal at Fratton Park, The Madejski Stadium or St. Andrews will have a bearing on the final positions and send shockwaves around the grounds.